I live in this fantasy world, this illusion that just because I put thought into something it will have enough substance that someone might appreciate it.
But no one ever understands it.

I presented a self-portrait during class.

No one here will see it because it was a painting and I hate taking photographs of paintings. Pisses me off that the colors never end up the same.

No one said anything. It was like it made them uncomfortable.

It was just a mask.

It was the same feeling I used to get in high school when people wanted to ask... but they didn't want to know. Like they didn't think the explanation was worth the hassle of hearing it. So they just looked at me... then the painting and I could see them in their mind associating me with it in a way I didn't like. As if every time they look at me they're going to see that twisted mask without even stopping to think they were the reason I drew myself like that in the first place.



I hate associating with people.